Thoughts on being an official Peace Corps volunteer again

More photos and stories of Pele to come.  But as of yesterday, I am officially a Peace Corps volunteer again!  I once again swore to uphold the constitution of the United States and to defend my country against all enemies, foreign and domestic - and learned that repeating that oath in unison with just one other person is much more challenging than with a group of 60.  With 60 people everyone's voices blend together, but with two, every little slip up is obvious - but we got through it, and I now have a cool Vanuatu-USA Peace Corps friendship pin to go with my Benin-USA one.  Our swearing in ceremony was nice, most of the office staff and a few volunteers were there and we got to talk about our favorite memories from training - I shared a fantastic sentence we came up with in language class.  "Kasem" in Bislama can mean "to understand", "to reach", "until", and "to pour."  So "Bae yu no kasem kasem yu kasem Port Vila mo kasem wan bigfala kava" means "You won't understand until you reach Port Vila and pour a big serving of kava."  The other Peace Corps response volunteer and I had so many good things to say about all the staff who have supported us so far.




The first time I swore in as a Peace Corps volunteer, I was literally fulfilling a life-long dream.  I had grown up hearing my Dad's stories from his service in Peace Corps Nepal, and saw how that had opened the door for many exciting international opportunities.  We lived in Nepal as a family, and throughout my growing up from time to time he'd say something like - "Hey Bets, would you like to move to Guam/Botswana/______?"  I'd always say "Yes!!!!".  Most of these job offers didn't pan out, Mom had a much more realistic view of what made sense for the family and whatnot, but I always thought it would be great to have people calling me up from time to time and saying things like "Mongolia needs you!!"  I knew Peace Corps was the first step to this.  If I didn't join Peace Corps, it felt like something I'd always wonder about.

Peace Corps Response, on the other hand, was not as much of a life-long dream.  I never really thought I'd do Peace Corps twice.  Which can make figuring out why I'm here a little more complicated.  Adventure - that's a big reason I decided to do this.  As mentioned in a previous blog post, I've been interested in the South Pacific for a long time.  And it sounds like adventure will not be lacking this year.  Another reason I'm doing this is to get in-depth experience in a new community.  So far, the main experience I have living in a developing country comes from Peonga.  I think having experienced a second one - Walaha, the place I'll be living on Ambae - could serve me well if I pursue a career in development work after this.  If I just had experience with one community, I could make the mistake of assuming every place has the same issues, concerns, village dynamics, etc. as Peonga.

Being a Peace Corps volunteer again is also a great opportunity to "cash in on" all the work I did during my two years of Peace Corps Benin.  Learning how to be happy with a slower pace of life, how to take initiative and make things happen, how to be comfortable with ambiguity...basically how to be a volunteer.  My fellow Peace Corps Response volunteer put it well when he said this time it feels like just getting back on a bike.  You might be on a totally different road, but the basic skills of how to make the bike go are the same, and you've already learned them.

Last night, after swearing in, I found myself sitting outside with my journal, listening to the nighttime sounds of Port Vila and intensely missing the place where I first learned to "ride the bike" that is Peace Corps.  This is funny, in a way - Benin was as hot as Vanuatu but didn't have the snorkeling, bush taxis were less comfortable than the Port Vila minibusses, walking around in Cotonou you'd be greeted by "Yovo! Yovo! Yovo! (White person! White person! White person!) while in Port Vila everyone just smiles and says "Gud Moning!" .  The market here as a wider variety of fruit but no bargaining, the vendors are happy to chat but won't hassle you to buy.  So far, Vanuatu has just been an easier place.  It's beautiful, the Peace Corps staff is very supportive - I have pretty much nothing to complain about.  But at the risk of sounding very cheesy, people say your first love always has a special, unique place in your heart.  Benin was like a first love - like a real love, a real relationship - a messy one at that.  My Peace Corps service in Benin was at time a rosy romantic dream and at times a battle, a series of highs and lows with a difficult, messy parting at the end.  It forced me to learn much about myself, to come face to face with weaknesses that made me uncomfortable - but also showed me strengths and beautiful things about myself.  It was filled with moments of unbearable sweetness. At first, I thought maybe my experience in Vanuatu would be so much smoother than in Benin that I would be left thinking "This place is so much nicer, so much easier - I like it better!"  But now I know that nothing can really ever be "better" than Benin - because nothing else will ever be in the same category.  My feelings about Benin will always be complex and unique - missing a place that was not always easy to be in, loving a person who was not always easy to love.  But loving them nonetheless, to some degree, forever.  Benin was my Peace Corps country, and Peonga was my Peace Corps town. No matter how many places I live in, how many villages I love, nothing will replace the first.
 
So thank you, Benin.

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